According to archaeologists, for millions of years Neanderthal man was not fully erect.
That’s pretty easy to understand considering how ugly Neanderthal woman were.
Archive for the ‘Women Jokes’ Category
Neanderthal woman one liners – Women jokes
Tuesday, September 15th, 2009
Office Rules – Work jokes
Tuesday, September 8th, 20091. In any organization, there will always be one person who knows what is going on. This person must be fired.
2. a) Anyone can make a decision given enough facts.
b) A good manager can make a decision without enough facts.
c) A perfect manager can operate in perfect ignorance.
3. The one time in the day that you lean back and relax is the one time the boss walks in your office.
4. Teamwork is essential. It allows you to blame someone else.
5. An easily-understood, workable falsehood is more useful than a complex, incomprehensible truth.
6. If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs, then you just don’t understand the problem.
7. The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that you’ve got it made.
8. Anything is possible if you don’t know what you’re talking about.
9. If you have a difficult task, give it to a lazy man – he will find an easier way to do it.
Retail Experience – Work jokes
Monday, September 7th, 2009Rossi was the manager of an upscale men’s wear store in a wealthy section of town and was interviewing Abe for the recently advertised salesman role.
Rossi looks at Abe’s resume and notices that Abe has never worked in retail before.
Rossi says to Abe, “What chutzpah, if you don’t mind me saying. For someone with no retail experience, you are certainly asking for a high salary.”
“Well I suppose I am,” Abe replies, “but you must understand that the work is so much harder when you don’t know what you’re doing.”
Ski Trip – Work jokes
Monday, September 7th, 2009Mr. Jacobson decided to take a week off from the pressures of the office and went skiing. Alas, no sooner did he reach the slopes than he heard an ominous rumbling: moments later a sheet of snow came crashing toward him.
Fortunately, Mr. Jacobson was able to jump into a cave just before the avalanche hit. Just as fortunately, he had matches with him and was able to light a fire.
Hours later, when everyone but Mr. Jacobson had returned, a rescue team was sent to search for him.
After several hours they saw smoke curling from the cave and went to investigate.
Poking his head into the entrance, one of the rescuers yelled, “Mr. Jacobson, are you there? It’s the Red Cross.”
Bristling, the harried executive called back, “Get lost. I gave at the office!”
Wee Hughie came into the office an hour late …
Tuesday, August 4th, 2009Wee Hughie came into the office an hour late for the third time in one week and found the boss waiting for him. ” What’s the story this time. Hughie ? ” he asked sarcastically. ” Let’s hear a good excuse for a change.
” Wee Hughie sighed, ” Everything went wrong this morning. The wife decided to drive me to the harbour. She got ready in ten minutes, but then the ferry didn’t turn up.
Rather than let you down, I swam across the river, ran over the mountain, borrowed a bicycle and cycled the 20 miles through the glen to this office. ”
You’ll have to do better than that. Hughie, ” said his boss, disappointed. ” No woman can be ready in ten minutes.”