Archive for the ‘Political Jokes’ Category

10 dollar bill, a Bible, and a bottle of whiskey – Political Jokes

Wednesday, September 23rd, 2009

An older couple had a son, who was still living at home. The parents were a little worried, as the son was still unable to decide about his future career. They decided to do a small test. They took a 10 dollar bill, a Bible, and a bottle of , and put them on the front hall table, and hid, pretending they were not home.

The father’s plan was: “If our son takes the money, he will be a businessman, if he takes the Bible, he will be a priest, but if he takes the bottle of , I’m afraid our son will be a drunkard.”

So, the parents waited nervously, hiding in the nearby closet. Peeping through the keyhole they saw their son arrive. The son saw the note they had left. Then, he took the 10-dollar bill, looked at it against the light, and slid it in his pocket. After that, he took the Bible, flicked through it, and took it.

Then, he grabbed the bottle, opened it and took a whiff, to get assured of the quality. Then he left for his room, carrying all three items. The father slapped his forehead, and said: HONEY! Our son is going to be a politician.”

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Night Watchman – Political Jokes

Wednesday, September 23rd, 2009

Once upon a time the government had a vast scrap yard in the middle of a desert. Congress said someone may steal from it at night, so they created a night position (GS-4) and hired a person for the job.

Then Congress said, “How does the do his job without instruction?” So they created a planning position and hired two people: one person to write the instructions (GS-12) and one person to do time studies (GS-11).

Then Congress said, “How will we know the night is doing the tasks correctly?” So they created a Q.C. position and hired two people, one GS-9 to do the studies and one GS-11 to write the reports.

Then Congress said, “How are these people going to get paid?” So they created the following positions, a timekeeper (GS-09) and a payroll officer (GS-11) and hired two people.

Then Congress said, “Who will be accountable for all of these people?”

So they created an administrative position and hired three people: an Admin. Officer (GM-13), an Assistant Admin. Officer (GS-13) and a Legal Secretary (GS-08).

Then Congress said, “We have had this command in operation for one year and we are $18,000 over budget, we must cutback overall cost,” so they laid off the night .

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Republicans Democrats – Political Jokes

Wednesday, September 23rd, 2009

A Republican and a Democrat were walking down the street when they came to a homeless person.

The republican gave the homeless person his business card and told him come to his business for a job. He then took twenty dollars out of his pocket and gave it to the homeless person.

The Democrat was very impressed, and when they came to another homeless person, He decided to help. He walked over to the homeless person and gave him directions to the welfare office. He then reached into the Republicans pocket and gave him fifty dollars.

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Have We Got A Place For You ? – Political Jokes

Wednesday, September 23rd, 2009

Morris, the Governor’s most trusted assistant, died in his sleep one night. The Governor had depended on Morris for advice on every subject, from pending bills to wardrobe decisions. In addition, Morris had been his closest friend.

So, it was understandable that the Governor didn’t take kindly to the droves of ambitious office seekers who wanted Morris’ job. “They don’t even have the decency to wait until the man is buried,” the Governor muttered.

At the funeral, one eager beaver made his way to the Governor’s side. “Governor,” the man said, “is there a chance that I could take Morris’ ?”

“Certainly,” the governor replied. “But you’d better hurry. I think the undertaker is almost finished.”

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Tragic Crash – Political Jokes

Wednesday, September 23rd, 2009

A busload of politicians were driving down a country road when the bus suddenly ran off the road and crashed into an old farmer’s field. The old farmer heard the crash so he rushed over to investigate. He then began digging a large grave to bury the politicians.

A few hours later, the local sheriff was driving past the farmer’s field and noticed the bus wreck. He approached the old farmer and asked where all the politicians had gone. The old farmer explained that he’d gone ahead and buried all of them. “Were they ALL dead?” asked the puzzled sheriff. “Well, some of them said they weren’t,” said the old farmer, “but you know how them politicians lie.”

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