Archive for the ‘Driving Jokes’ Category

Rolls Royce – Driving jokes

Tuesday, September 29th, 2009

Moshe was at his golf club and went into the clubhouse to see whether anyone could offer him a lift to Hendon. His own car was off the road being serviced.

“Sure,” said Morry, “I’ll give you a lift. My Rolls is just outside.”

As they’re driving along, Moshe says, “Morry, what’s that thing on the dashboard ticking all the time?”

“That’s my digital clock.”

A few minutes later, Moshe asks, “And what’s that thing on the dashboard moving up and down?”

“That’s my tachometer,” says Morry.

Then a few minutes after that, Moshe starts to ask, “But what’s that….”

“Hold on a minute, Moshe,” says Morry, “I can see you’ve never been in a Rolls before.”

“Never in the front seat.” says Moshe.

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New Mercedes – Driving jokes

Tuesday, September 29th, 2009

Oscar drove his brand to his favorite sporting goods store. He parked it outside and went in to do a little perusing with Jan, his regular sales woman.

Jan was a pretty blonde, and as Oscar walked into the store, she happily greeted him. But he requested to look around alone today before he needed her help. She obliged and let him do his thing.

Five minutes later, Jan came running up to him yelling, “Oscar! Oscar! I just saw someone driving off with your !”

“Dear God! Did you try to stop him?”

“No,” she said, “I did better than that! I got the license plate number!”


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A New Kind of Car – Driving jokes

Tuesday, September 29th, 2009

Two guys sat down for lunch in the office cafeteria.

“Hey, whatever happened to Pete in payroll?”one asked.

“He got this harebrained notion he was going to build a kind of car,” his co-worker replied.

“How was he going to do it?”

“He took an engine from a Pontiac, tires from a Chevy, seats from a Lincoln, hubcaps from Caddy and, well, you get the idea.”

“So what did he end up with?”

“Ten years to life.”

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Parking in a one-hour zone – Driving jokes

Tuesday, September 29th, 2009

Have you ever had the experience of parking in a one-hour , inserting the coins, than finding yourself, forty-five minutes later, still in line at the bank? At such times, you might suddenly find religion, and fervently pray that you will make your meter.

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Red Lights – Driving jokes

Tuesday, September 29th, 2009

through the red light.

“Man, you just ran that red light!”, the passenger said.

“Don’t worry, my brother does it all the time,” said the driver.

Well, they continue to drive when the guy went flying through another stop light.

“You ran ANOTHER stop light. You are going to get us killed!!!” exclaimed the passenger.

“Don’t worry, my brother does it all the time, the driver said.

After a while they came to a green light when the guy stopped.

“Why are you stopping?”

The driver turned around and said, “Because my brother might be coming!”

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