In Modesto, California, Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to hold up a Bank of America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a finger to simulate a gun, but unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his pocket. (hellllllooooooo!)
Archive for the ‘Criminal Jokes’ Category
Trying to hold up a bank – Criminal jokes
Thursday, October 1st, 2009
A gang of robbers broke into a lawyer’s club … – Criminal jokes
Thursday, October 1st, 2009A gang of robbers broke into a lawyer’s club by mistake. The old legal lions
gave them a fight for their life and their money. The gang was very happy to escape.
“It ain’t so bad,” one crook noted. “We got $25 between us.”
The boss screamed, “I warned you to stay clear of lawyers! We had $100 when we broke in!”
A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary: – Criminal jokes
Thursday, October 1st, 2009A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary tried this creative defense:
“My client merely inserted his arm into the window and removed a few trifling articles. His arm is not himself, and I fail to see how you can punish the whole individual for an offense committed by his limb.”
“Well put,” the judge replied. “Using your logic, I sentence the defendant’s arm to one
year’s imprisonment. He can accompany it or not, as he chooses.”
The defendant smiled. With his lawyer’s assistance he detached his artificial limb, laid it on the bench, and walked out.
Organized Crime – Criminal jokes
Thursday, October 1st, 2009No matter how much the government fights it, organized crime just seems to get
more organized every day. The police pulled in a Mob kingpin recently and reminded
him he had the right to make a phone call.
“Just fax the arrest report to my lawyer,” the mobster said calmly.
Reliable Help – Criminal jokes
Thursday, October 1st, 2009A burglar alarm goes off in the middle of the night, and the police arrived just in time to collar the burglar as he was leaving the premises with a big bag full of loot. Soon, he was in court, facing a grim-looking judge.
“Did you have an accomplice?” asked the judge.
“What’s an accomplice?” replied the crook.
“A partner. In other words, did you commit this crime by yourself?”
“What else?” demanded the culprit. “Who can get reliable help these days?”