I was on a panel for prospective jury duty. The first lawyer questioning us began right off as an intimidating showman and asked the question, “Do any of you here today dislike lawyers?”
Before the pause became too long, the judge announced, “I do.”
Archive for the ‘Court Jokes’ Category
Do any of you here today dislike lawyers? – Baseball jokes
Wednesday, September 23rd, 2009
Failed Sunblock – Baseball jokes
Wednesday, September 23rd, 2009“S.A. Schapiro of Milwaukee is suing the Nivea skin-care company because its sunblock failed to keep him from getting sunburned on his vacation,”says Premiere Morning Sickness. “If he wins this one, he plans to sue God for making the Earth too close to the sun.”
Cross Examination 1 – Baseball jokes
Wednesday, September 23rd, 2009A Columbia lawyer was well into a lengthy cross-examination of a witness when he
stopped and said, “Your honor, a juror is asleep.”
The Judge ruled, “You put him to sleep; YOU wake him up.”
Cracks in the Sidewalk – Baseball jokes
Wednesday, September 23rd, 2009Wisconsin — A man who drank 13 cocktails then tripped on his way out of a golf course bar, sued the gold course and was awarded $41,000 because there were cracks in the sidewalk. (No word if he’ll use it for a down payment on his bar tab.
Cross Examination – Baseball jokes
Wednesday, September 23rd, 2009A lawyer cross-examined the adversary’s main witness. “You claim to have stopped
by Mrs. Edwards’ house just after breakfast. Will you tell the jury what she said?”
“Objection, your honor,” shouted the other lawyer.
There then followed a long argument between the lawyers as to whether the question was
proper.
Finally, after 45 minutes, the judge allowed it. “So,” the first lawyer continued, “Please, answer the question. What did Mrs. Edwards say when you went to her house after breakfast on December 3rd?”
“Nothing,” said the witness. “No one was home.”