You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching
them to walk and talk.
Then you spend the next 16 telling
them to sit down and be quiet.
Archive for the ‘Children Jokes’ Category
The first years one liner – Children jokes
Wednesday, September 16th, 2009
Months of Babes(Dirty) – Children jokes
Monday, August 24th, 2009Grandpa and granddaughter were sitting talking when she asked, “Did God make you, Grandpa?”
“Yes, God made me,” the grandfather answered.
A few minutes later, the little girl asked him, “Did God make me too?”
“Yes, He did,” the older man answered.
For a few minutes, the little girl seemed to be studying her grandpa, as well as her own reflection in the mirror, while her grandfather wondered what was running through her mind.
At last she spoke up. “You know, Grandpa,” she said, “God is doing a lot better job lately.”
36 Hours – Children jokes
Monday, August 24th, 2009A lady arrived at the Madras airport after spending 36 hours in transit. She was fully exhausted after such a long trip with her 6 young kids.
Collecting many suitcases, the family entered the cramped customs area.
A young customs official watched our entourage in disbelief, “Ma’am,” he said, “do all these children and this luggage belong to you?”
“Yes, sir,” the lady said with a sigh. “They’re all mine.”
The customs agent began his interrogation “Ma’am, do you have any weapons, contraband or illegal drugs in your possession?”
“Sir,” she calmly answered, “if I’d had any of those items, I would have used them by now.”
Lakers Fan – Children jokes
Monday, August 24th, 2009A Kindergarten teacher tells her class she’s a BIG cricket fan.
She’s really excited about it and asks the kids if they’re cricket fans too.
Everyone wants to impress the teacher and says they’re cricket fans too, except ONE kid, …named Josh.
The teacher looks at Josh and says, “Josh, you’re not a cricket fan?”
He says, “Nope, Im a hockey fan!”
She says, “Well why are you a Hockey fan and not a cricket fan?”
Josh says, “Well, my mom is a hockey fan, and my dad is a hockey fan, so I’m a hockey fan.”
The teacher’s not real happy. She’s a little hot under the collar. She says, “Well, if your moms an idiot, and your dads a moron, then what would you be?!”
Josh replies, “Then I’d be a cricket fan!”
Thirsty boy – Children jokes
Monday, August 24th, 2009A small boy is sent to bed by his father.
Five minutes later:
“Da-ad…”
“What?”
“I’m thirsty. Can you bring me a drink of water?”
“No. You had your chance. Lights out.”
Five minutes later:
“Da-aaaad…”
“I’m THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water??”
“I told you NO! If you ask again, I’ll have to spank you!!”
Five minutes later… “Daaaa-aaaad…”
“WHAT??!!”
“When you come in to spank me, can you bring me a drink of water?”