According to the Chicago Tribune, the following statistic was given in the press notes for the June 7 Chicago-Oakland game:
The Oakland Athletics are 32-0 in games in which they have scored more runs than their opponents.
Archive for the ‘Army Jokes’ Category
Oakland Athletics are 32-0 – Army jokes
Thursday, October 8th, 2009
Joining the Army – Army jokes
Thursday, October 8th, 2009As the family gathered for a big dinner together, the youngest son announced that he had just signed up at an army recruiter’s
office.
There were audible gasps around the table, then some laughter, as his older brothers shared their disbelief that he could handle
this new situation. “Oh, come on, quit joking,” snickered one. “You didn’t really do that, did you?”
“You would never get through basic training,” scoffed another.
The new recruit looked to his mother for help, but she was just gazing at him. When she finally spoke, she simply asked, “Do you really plan to make your own bed every morning?”
Why do you want to join the Navy – Army jokes
Thursday, October 8th, 2009Having passed the enlistment physical, Jon was asked by the doctor, “Why do you want to join the Navy, son?”
“My father said it’d be a good idea, sir.”
“Oh? And what does your father do?”
“He’s in the Army, sir.”
My Wife’s Expecting – Army jokes
Thursday, October 8th, 2009A young private sought permission from his Commanding Officer to leave camp the following weekend. “You see,” he explained, “my wife’s expecting.”
“Oh…” said the Officer, “I understand. Go ahead and tell your wife that I wish her luck.”
The following week the same soldier was back again with the same explanation: “My wife’s expecting.”
The Officer looked surprised. “Still expecting?” he said, “Well, well, my boy, you must be pretty bothered. Of course you can have the week-end off.”
When the same soldier appeared again the third week, however, the Officer lost his temper. “Don’t tell me your wife is still expecting!” he bellowed.
“Yes sir!” said the soldier resolutely, “She’s still expecting.”
“What in heaven is she expecting?” cried the Officer.
“Me.” said the soldier simply.
Getting Closer – Army jokes
Thursday, October 8th, 2009Our son is in the Army, stationed in Georgia. He invited my husband and I for a visit.
After driving endlessly through unfamiliar streets in search of an entrance to Fort Stewart, my husband suddenly said, “We’re getting closer.”
“How do you know?” I asked.
He pointed to a sign that read:
Sonny’s Bar-B-Q
Tank Parking Available